steps.

Sometimes in the christian life I can get caught up wondering if I'm on the right path; if the Lord is pleased with me; or what in the world God is doing through a certain circumstance. I often forget that God has it all under control. If I knew what was going on in God's world I probably wouldn't even begin to comprehend it all anyway.

A man's steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way? - Psalm 20:24

I shouldn't mull over trying to understand what God is doing in my life. If I am following God, then I will not usually understand the path He is taking me on. This is part of trusting God & having confidence in Him.

new.

hey guys, just an update: so, i know i haven't written in a few months now! so much has been going on & my mind has been so jumbled that i haven't been able to focus on one thing long enough to even know where to begin! i've given my blog a new look; a new theme; a new title; for a new beginning. i'm going to focus on the little things that God is doing in my life, as opposed to trying to write lengthy insightful entries every time. i'm going to strive to write daily, & hope that you will follow me as i embark on this journey.. again. please comment on my posts.. i want to be encouraged in my writing & hear from my friends & family as much as possible. it makes writing worthwhile when i know it is being read. i also love feedback; it helps me grow, both as a writer & also as a person. so here goes nothing.. hope you enjoy!

Godliness #2

Continuing in 1 Timothy 2:9-11 - "Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty & self-control, not with braided hair & gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness."

Paul mentions women with "respectable apparel," "modesty & self-control," "good works," & quietness, when he speaks here in regards to "women who profess godliness." Oh, how I want to be a woman who professes godliness!

One will never know if Paul is writing out his own personal yearnings for a godly woman here or if these are indeed God's holy standards for the female gender. Regardless of this conflict, one thing I do know is that even for those who argue this as being simply Paul's opinion, I would take his views on the subject very highly anyway considering the nature of the man that he was - a man of wisdom & dignity!

I have been pondering these verses for weeks, trying to extract some practical wisdom from them, but all that I have been able to find are the flaws that shine clearly from my own heart & my own life. These verses do nothing but convict me & urge me to strive to be a more godly woman. I want to seek after godliness, therefore I must urge myself to continue to seek after the One who exemplifies these godly character traits that I strive to imitate. Focusing on each individual trait of what I feel a Godly woman should possess is not the key to being like Christ. One can only imitate the person in which they study carefully & know well. Therefore, we must strive to find our motivation & identity in Christ alone.

Godliness #1

It's been a while since I've last posted something on this here blog, but it's not because I haven't been learning anything. The fact is, I've been gaining an enormous amount of wisdom these past few months, so much, that I've hardly had time to think or even breathe, let alone spend the time to type out a full-length page concerning it all. Fortunately, I finally have room to breathe & actually collect my thoughts concerning the lesson I have been learning recently! I hope you are thrilled to read these words!

These lessons I have been learning have been partially extracted from my readings in First Timothy. Recent happenings in my life have also contributed to these, mostly involving a few personal struggles & broken relationships.

Since I have moved here to Reston to come on staff at RBC, I have seen & met many examples of a Godly man, much like I believe Paul was after his conversion. Whenever Paul gives advice about godliness to those he writes to in his letters, I always strive to extract this wisdom from Scripture. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 2 about Godly men & women, & what they should strive to exemplify. He says in verse 8 that "in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands." I see it so much in this place: men of valor praying for their brothers & sisters in Christ. Where was that in college? Where was that among the halls of my Christian University?

And the dilemma even continues into the kids lives that I minister to on a daily basis who come from such broken homes - where are these men in the household? Where are these fathers & brothers?

This dilemma has caused me to realize that this kind of man is the one I want leading my future household. This is the kind of man that I want to raise up in my own family & that I'd like to see my future daughters come to marry someday. This is the kind of man that I hope the youth in our youth group are learning from & growing up to be, even if they don't have one modeled in their home.

If you are a man, this is the type of man that I hope you will strive to become.

Love #3

I will start this post with a story. Jesus is teaching:

"A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt." And Jesus said to him, "You have judged rightly."

Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."

The lesson God has been teaching me this last couple of weeks is one that I think is also apparent in this passage. It is one that I have been learning BIG TIME. It is this:

Love comes first out of a yearning for it.

Jesus says in this story that obviously the one who loves the moneylender more is the one who has been given the most by him, which was the one who had the bigger debt. He was given the bigger gift because he had been freed of the bigger debt.

Then, as Jesus refers to the woman who had kissed his feet, He says that she loves much because she had been forgiven of many sins. Then he says "But he who is forgiven little, loves little."

Basically, I can some this story up in one sentence: The more that we recognize our need for God, the more we will grow to love Him.

And I have definitely been learning this.

The more that I realize my NEED for God in my life, the more that I can actively love Him and others around me.

Love #2

Upon striving to strengthen my love for God on a daily basis I have come to this important lesson:

Lesson #4: Love is contagious.

That seems like a simple concept, but in fact my meaning behind this lesson is a little more complicated.

There are many people in ministry that are hard to love. Some at specific times, and some all the time. We all have our days. But I've learned that when I am focused on loving God, my love for others comes naturally.

It is easier to love the difficult people on the days that my love for God is overflowing.

We know that in Matthew 22 God tells us the greatest commandment, which is to "love the Lord [our] God with all [our] heart, with all [our] soul, and with all [our] mind" [verse 37]. But we also see in verse 39 the second most important commandment being to "love [our] neighbor as [our]self."

I think commandment #2 comes out of commandment #1.. that's why they are listed in this specific order.

So if I am striving to love God with everything that I have and striving to make that known by the way I live my life, then the more I do that, the more I will be overflowing my love onto to others and seeking to love them in the same way. Then as I am loving others, my actions will be noticed by those around me, and they will follow.

I've seen this dynamic concept of love in action, and it has continued to be my motivation to continue in this path.

Whenever we, as Christians, are struggling to love someone in our path, we must simply remember the love that God has for us, and be reminded of how much we love him in return. This should cause us to re-focus ourselves on how to love those tough people that we may come across.

And boy is this kind of love needed in ministry.

Besides just loving those that are hard to love sometimes, I feel so convicted [guilty] lately about not properly or actively loving those around me.

The Bible teaches love to be an action, not a feeling or simply an entity. Rather, love is, like i defined in my last post, a daily choice.

I want to show Christ's love in every detail of my life, and I am not doing a very good job of it. I put myself before others in a lot of aspects. I want to pray for people in my life more than I often do. I want to send thank you letters and birthday cards to people that I care about. I want to actively pursue how I can pray for strangers that I interact with when I am in public, like waiters, pizza delivery guys, check-out counter people, and drive-through employees. How can I do that? How can I leave the fingerprints of God on the lives of those around me in a more practical way?

This is something that has become a daily struggle for me. I battle with the feelings of reluctance to get past myself and my daily list of things to-do and to actually take action in the lives of those around me.

The result is not instant, but actively loving others will eventually cause a Domino effect.

Love is contagious, so why not get up and move in the lives of those around you?

Love

I've realized that loving God is a daily battle, or more like a daily decision that I have to make.

Lesson #3: My love for God should be evident in everything that I do.

Deuteronomy 6:5 says: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." - but not only that...

"And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart." - Deut 6:6

"You shall teach them diligently to your children.."

"..and shall talk of them when you sit in your house.."

"..and when you walk by the way.."

"..and when you lie down.."

"..and when you rise." [Deut 6:7]

"You shall bind them as a sign on your hand.."

"..and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes." [Deut 6:8]

"You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." [Deut 6:9]

So I not only need to love God with everything I am, I also need to keep this command on my heart always.

I need to teach this to the youth within my ministry, and talk about this love in my house. I need to remember my love for Christ everywhere I go, remember it when I am going to sleep and when I am waking up.

I need to remember my love for God in everything that I do with my hands, and everything I see with my eyes.

I need for people to know of my love for God when they come into my house as well as into my room.

My love for God should be evident in everything I do.