Growing Up

There are a lot of things in this life that I am realizing I am afraid of. I think it's easy to put on the tough persona and stick the smile on in situations where I am really afraid. I want to seem strong, I want to seem like the person that has her life under control and all figured out. But you know what I have been realizing? No one has their life under control and all figured out. So why should I act like mine is? I have flaws and struggles and trials in my life just the same as anyone else. Lets get real here!

Yesterday as I was leaving work, the mom of the kids I babysit for mentioned in conversation that I'm afraid of growing up. It's funny, but I had actually never thought of that before. I realized in that very moment that she was right! I've been in college for so long, that I've gotten comfortable in Lynchburg. I've gotten comfortable with the fact that being a college students means less responsibilities, and less stress. It's not the real world in this college bubble. It's that halfway point where you have responsibilities but if you mess up, you still have your parents to fall back on.. The "college student" title makes everything a learning experience. It makes it okay to mess up because your still a "college student". But hey, guess what world? I'm not a college student anymore. Now I'm realizing that this life isn't all fun and games. It's hard work, I tell ya!

But after pondering over this realization the last couple days, I realized that I'm ready to grow up. I'm seriously ready to get out on the road, go somewhere new, and enjoy the hard, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, road. I want to be challenged by God and grow in Him in a way that I couldn't even imagine. I want to be molded and bent into a better person for Christ. I want to be broken every single day, repeated times. I want a constant reminder that God is in control and that He is the Lord my God. I think that by growing up I will definitely get all of these things that I pray for. I already feel my heart changing in a positive way for Him. I'm just excited and nervous at the same time because when you finally admit something to God, He doesn't just ignore it...

So here we go... :]