How He Loves

It seems to me that lately with everything I do, God reminds me of His love for me. And this is even more significant because I really need to be reminded of His love, because I've had some down days recently. I get to these points in my life where I just cry out to God and just wonder what in the world I'm missing, what is it that I am not getting.. and then he reminds me of his love. He's right, but that does not really surprise me because He always is. I realize that I will absolutely never grasp the true picture of His love. I will never understand what this whole unconditional love thing is all about. I will never be able to fully accept His love for me or experience it in it's greatness because of the simple fact that I know that I am completely unworthy of it. And I realize my unworthiness every single day. And it's on the days that I recognize how messed up I am and my unworthiness of His love, that He puts the lyrics to that song "How He Loves" in my mind. And then they echo over and over in my mind and I picture the images of this loving God. Have you ever really contemplated those worship songs that you sing to Him? Especially "How He Loves".

"He is jealous for me" -- I wrote an entry on this a little while ago. His jealousy for me completely consumes me. How could I do that to Him? And yet I continue to ignore Him in so many circumstances everyday.

"Love is like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy" -- I picture a hurricane that I've seen footage of on TV, the kind that can rip up every car and house and tree from the ground and destroy anything in it's path. I picture the remainder of New Orleans after hurricane Katrina and just what power a hurricane has over us and over the earth. This same power can be channeled to God's love. He has the power to rip us up and destroy us and change us, which He does by covering us with His mercy. And remember what mercy is: not receiving something that we truly deserve. We have no control over what a hurricane does, just like we have no control over what God does with His love for us. He shapes us and molds us and rips us apart everyday because He knows what is best for us. He withholds so much from us that are consequences of our actions simply because He loves us more than we can imagine. THIS is why love is a hurricane.

"When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me." When we come to know Christ and make a pact in our hearts that we are going to live for Him, His glory now covers us and He makes us new. He turns every evil and ugly thing within us to gold with his glory covering it. He uses us despite our cracks and bruises and turns us into glory. This verse reminds me of those days that a light bulb goes off in my brain, and I realize something about myself that I never realized before. Like the day I realize that the reason why I'm acting a certain way is because I'm holding bitterness in my heart. Or the day that I realize that the reason why I'm holding back from God is because of my shame for past mistakes that I've made. Or the day that I realize that maybe everything is not really okay like I've been making it out to be behind the pretending and all the smiles. Those are the days that I realize He covers my afflictions with his glory. He completely eclipses them, so that they are still there, but they reflect his glory instead of reflecting my own brokenness. And it is true, times like these I do realize His beauty and how much He does love me. I mean, think about it. How great are His affections for you? Much greater than can even be measured!

We will never be able to grasp His love. We will never be able to get our minds around it and understand it in the least bit. We will never even be able to return it in the same capacity. But we can still consume our lives with it and live abundantly in it. Experience His love, for his affections for you are great.